Back To Being Stressed

I was doing so good for awhile not stressing myself out over this situation with the lab results on the little girl they are looking at for us. I received an email from Diana yesterday (at Lighthouse Adoptions) that she asked for the lab results again. She emailed me today that normally the place they get the tests done is pretty "Americanized" in that they get them done quickly. She has no idea what the hold-up is, if they lost them or what. Diana said she is continuing to look into it to find out if they are delayed or lost and if they are lost, she will have them done again right away. She has assured me she will contact us as soon as she hears anything, but not to expect anything today. I hate when I see that answer, because it takes away any hope for that day that we will find out who are daughter is. I feel like I am never going to find out who she is. I know that I am, but right now I feel like it is taking so long and it is so hard not knowing.

I am trying to look at it this way. There will be a day, when my kids are running around with their cousins and having a great time, and I am taking pictures and laughing with them, that this day will seem so far away and unimportant. But right now, it is my life. My life is wanting my kids home, wanting to see them, to hold them, wanting so badly to be a family with them. I just can't stand everyday that goes by it another day I will never have with them.

Okay, enough with all the sadness and stress :) I will just keep on praying that I hear something "soon." And, at least I have gotten some updated pictures of my boy, that always makes my day!!